The Selfie Serial-ist is that one person on your Facebook or Instagram friend’s list who feels compelled to take a photo of herself every 2 minutes. Everyone has a friend like this who snaps a shot of her new hat, new shoes, or the lunch she’s eating. Oddly enough, in today’s wired-world, everyone thinks this behavior is cool, but what about the Driving Selfie?
The driving selfies are amusing but dangerous. The snaps are of individuals who have a cup of coffee tucked snugly between their legs with one palm on the steering wheel, as they attempt to eat a breakfast bar and drive. The other hand is holding a cell phone and snapping a photo. Is it any wonder that people under 30 are flocking to plastic surgeons like geese flying south for the winter? Especially to Beverly Hills the Capital of plastic surgery.
The selfie craze has gone so-far south that you can purchase a toaster that features metal plates with your image engraved on them. You simply place the plate on either side of the bread, pop it into the toaster, and wait 2 to 5 minutes. Instant toast selfies will certainly burn up the internet once the gadget catches fire with the 18 to 30 crowd.
It is estimated that there are 41 million selfies on the internet; many of them are taken with wild animals, the Mona Lisa, or Lady Liberty. For future reference, the Mona Lisa selfies have now been banned. It can only be assumed that there was a royalty infringement or some other legalese protecting the dear lady from a privacy violation.
There should be an annual award for the Best and the Worst selfies. The best selfies would be those where the person taking the selfie is snagged from behind by surprise. The worst selfies could be those photos taken of people who think nothing of snapping a shot before their first cup of coffee. Categories might include awards for people with bad aim, poor lighting, or a truly disgusting artistic vision.
Selfies have become so prominent on the internet that a debate has begun to rage over which of the sexes is vainer. Men say it’s the women, while women have never been caught holding the selfie-pole between their toes so they could show off their flexed biceps. However, men are rarely caught admiring their backside in the mirror, pursing their lips, and snapping an all-too revealing photo in the bathroom.
The selfie craze is bound for literary history as Kim Kardashian is publishing a “How-To” for getting the right angle and lighting. Yes, there will be a Kardashian self-help selfie eBook coming to a web site of your choice in the near future.